I know. It's been a while.

I'm not sure how to start this blog. There's so much to be sad for, but so much within that which we can all be grateful for.

For those of you who don't know my grandfather, Col Courtney, passed away on Monday night. He was a beloved dad, step-dad, grandad and husband. You were so strong, such a fighter, all the way to the end. We'll miss you. We love you.

Grateful for a supportive and loving family in a very difficult time. It's a comfort to know that we are all surrounded by beautiful people who care and will listen. Friends, also, are the rocks we can lean on. I can't thank any of you enough.

Grateful that we were able to spend time with him before he left. He knew we were there, even though he could only respond by squeezing our hands and moving his feet. And that was only for the first few days. But to see him, and tell him we loved him, and know he was still hanging on, is something I think we were all grateful for. He saw his girls, the chihuahuas Muffy and Mia, on Monday afternoon, and that completed it, we think. He'd seen everyone that mattered and he slipped away peacefully that night. He was peaceful when we saw him last, and it means a lot to all of us that he didn't suffer. The ward he was in was lovely, beautiful staff and a gorgeous view even if he couldn't see it. We were glad that if he had to go, he did so in a nice place like that, and that he was comfortable.

Grateful for afternoons full of photo boxes and reminiscing and chats, and the cream buns and licorice all sorts he loved and remembering all the things that made him dear to us, all the things we will remember. His grumpy days and terrible jokes and cupcake-eating ways and stubbornness and general silliness. He was such a character. He will be missed so, so much.

Grateful that the world goes on, its still beautiful, and Grandad, we know you're still here.
I love you.
Lise xx